The other half...

If you have been a very astute reader you may have noticed in a few posts where the author, Pam, has alluded to another person who may write a little more about this or that. Well that person would be me. I am Travis, the other half of this bay area adventures relationship. You may have seen me in a few of the pictures...you know, that strong, studly looking guy?

In any case, I've been asked to contribute to this blog for a few reasons that up until this point, I didn't really care for. This blog was created so that Pam would not have to write multiple emails to multiple people about things that we are doing, simplifying her life. Please take note, that what I said was so that Pam could reduce the amount of time spent emailing the same story to different people. So...where do I come in? Well you have to read the fine print.

This blog was created so that together, Pam and Travis can reflect together on their experiences in the bay area and share these experiences with the rest of the family.

Result = Travis feels as if he has been bullied into writing a blog about everything fun we do down here. My initial reaction is in defiance of being told what to do, which is countered by guilt trips from Pam. This is a classic example of how the idea of "compromising" (which I feel was created by women to get guys to do women things) has faltered to produce desirable results. Since I have a feeling our reading audience is primarily women, I would like to present a new model to consider.

Compromising

The problem with the whole compromising thing is that at any given time, one person is still doing something that they don't want to do. This in itself creates so many potential problems that unless the relationship is firmly bound together by the strands of love and history together, it will eventually fall apart. Too often than not the focus turns to what am I doing for you and what are you doing for me. Eventually one person will start to think that he/she is compromising more than the other, and might start cutting back. Then the other person sees this and cuts back...resentment builds and eventually an argument over putting soap in the dishwasher but not turning it on turns into, "I watch basketball with you even though I hate it, so why can't you go to knitting classes with me"?

As you may or not see, my initial reaction in defiance was more or less an attempt to not go down the compromising path and end up in knitting class hating my life.

Least common denominator

If you can remember back to the least commong denominator rule from elementary math class you will know that in order to add together two fraction, the least common denominator first needs to be found. For instance, in order to add 1/3 to 1/4 they must be converted so that the denominator is equal. Therefore, you get 4/12 added to 3/12 equalling 7/12. The least common denominator then is 12, which then allows the numerators to be added together.

Finding the least common denominator in a relationship is another story. It sometimes can be difficult but the idea is that neither party feels like they are compromising and both parties are getting what they want. Here is an example. The girl has this book called "All about us" which is basically a book of questions about this or that which calls for answers from both him and her. The girl likes it because she enjoys learning things about her partner and also the quailty time portion of it. The guy hates the book because he thinks that the questions are retarded, and that he is being forced into answering things that he would rather not. Rather than compromising and having the guy feeling like he is having to do this or else, lets try and find a least common denominator.

Girl wants: Quality time and to learn about her partner.
Guy doesn't want: lame questions that he is forced to answer.

Least common denominator is - if the girl comes up with specific questions that she is interested in knowing about her partner, then he won't feel that they are lame. So long as there is a stipulation that he does not have to answer any question he is uncomfortable with he is fine with answering them.

Applying LCD to this blog

At this point its important to resist the urge to call me a geek. All comments of this nature will be deleted before feelings are hurt.

Applying LCD to this blog is simply supplying other reasons as to why its important that I write.

First of all, writing is something that actually does interest me. I enjoy it for the most part as long as I'm not required to do it. What makes blog writing so great is that it allows for an authors voice to truly come out. This is the most important reason why I would like to contribute to this blog that I've recently just figured out. For those of you that were hoping to get a straight up, narrative about what we did over the weekend from me, all short and concise...well sorry you're out of luck. I am taking this opportunity to give you readers a window into myself, to get to know me, how I view the world, various thoughts that go through my head, and feelings as I experience life with Pam.

I hope that our least common denominator is not just writing to inform, but writing to expose ourselves to each other and our family, that you might get to know the real us.

-Travis