New Years Resolutions/Goals & Birthday

Travis isn't a fan of New Years Resolutions and has helped me to see that my resolutions need to be more of a lifelong goal, not a short term habit or change. I have been thinking the past week or so about this and things that I would like to work on, change and improve in myself. I think I have come up with a good list.

1. Sometime in the last year I have become a gossip. I was never a gossiper in high school, I was too busy to be. LOL However at my current company the environment is so high school esque that I have found that I have become one that talks a lot, unconsciously about things I hear or see and lately I am not happy with that. I want to be someone that others can come to, can confide in, talk with, be silly or stupid and not worry about that getting out to others. So my goal is to talkative but to leave others out of my conversations unless it is pertinent and necessary.

2. Positive outlook. Another thing I have noticed with all that has happened in the last year is that I have a hard time seeing the positive and looking at how great things are versus what I wish and what has gone wrong. I have a wonderful life, a best friend/boyfriend who would do anything for me as I would do for him, a good job that pays well (though not my dream job), a good home, an amazing family that as I get older I find out is even better than I imagined, and am grateful for the friends I have and are still there for me. I find I get up in the fact that so many people I know are getting married or are married and I am not, compare my home to others, compare myself to others and my success to others success. It may be the competitor in me, but there are things in life that are not a competition and I need to always remember that.

3. Confidence. I know I come across as someone who is very confident in myself, at least I have been told I do at times, but I am very critical of myself. I need to work on being confident in who I am and what I stand for. I need to be confident in my intelligence, my morals, my values, my external appearance and internal value. We all have our days when we feel like we would rather stay in bed than get up and get dressed and that is ok. :) I just think that due to some factors which are in the process of changing, and that will be explained later, I have lost a bit of confidence in my intelligence and competence. I know I am smart, I know I have amazing potential and I am working on finding someone to push me instead of question and make me back down.

I think these are good starting points and will lead to many positive changes in my attitude and life. I also hope it inspires others to make positive changes in their lives and their decisions on how to view the world.

Oh and on another note, my birthday is in 17 days!!! I am so excited and I can not wait. I get to say good bye to my early 20's!!!! I was cleaning today and happened to look through some pictures, letters and my yearbooks from high school. It amazes me to think how much I have changed and grown into myself. I feel I am still me and the me I was at 15 but it is a more mature, relaxed, polished and oriented self. I wish I could write myself a letter, and maybe someday I will, to teach myself the things I have learned along the very very bumpy road. Ask my parents, I was definitely not an easy child to raise. I have never learned well without experiencing some hurt or negaqtive consequence from an action. So to be able to write myself a letter and tell my younger self to not sweat about things so much, to not care what people thought so much and to slow down and enjoy life, I am not too sure it would work. LOL

26 years old, I am excited. I am excited for what this next year will hold. I know my brother will be getting married soon to a wonderful woman who fits into our family so fantastically. I am hoping to own a house, to get a new car, well "we" will get a truck :), hopefully a pet or two, take my GMAT and to just continue to learn about this awesome place we live. What is really interesting to me as well as I go through each year is how my priorities change. Instead of spending every weekend going out and going to the new bars or clubs, I am ok with hanging out at home and watching a movie or with friends. I like having a picked up home, cooking dinner, and being settled. I do still have a drive to push myself in my career and skills, but to also know that I have a great person and place to come home to, all that together makes me smile.

Now after a long rambling post, I am going to go crawl into bed with a good book, listen to some music and get ready for a another week. :) Happy 2008 everyone!!

Music & Lyrics

Yesterday I posted a playlist of songs. It may seem a bit random in the choices and styles of music but each sing has a memory and meaning to me, and some for Trav and I. Music to me is a way of remembering people, places, and times in my life. Take the Lifehouse sing, First Time. The first weekend in October Travis and I were driving from San Francisco to Denver moving. This happened to be a song playing while we were driving across the plains of Wyoming and now will forever be what reminds both of us of our move. Scotland the Brave is what will always remind of my grandpa who passed away in October. Plus it has a funny little memory of my dad in a kilt. :) Love man in a skirt.

Music to me is a great motivator when I am running, at work, or just putting around the house. I love almost every type of music and each kind I listen to for a different reason. I think today will be a mix of country and top 40, need to write an article and do some cleaning around the house. I am trying to make sure that when Travis returns from California, things are picked up, cleaned and better than when he left.

Well happy Sunday and hope everyone is having a great weekend. :)

Music

Back problems.

Boo hoo. So while on break you guys probably know I sort of tweaked/threw my back out, slipped a disc whatever you want to call it. Three days later I was happy with being pretty much back to normal. Once I had gotten off the plane I felt much better and the next day I even went back to the gym. (Doing exercises that didn't involve a lot of weight on my back of course)

So on wednesday I woke up with a sore back for some reason. Kinda tight. I little bit of pain but still not a big deal. Once I made it to work and was sitting in my chair it seemed to get a little worse. I tried to remain with good posture and all, just didn't seem to be helping. Then I sneezed and bam, that hurt. A few hours later I sneezed again and hurt my lower back more.

I took today off from work to lay low. Lay on the ground with my back straight. I went to the gym and did the hot tub for a while, as well as steam room and just tried to loosen up my entire back. I think it helped quite a bit. The pain is less today and hopefully by tommorow I can go back to work and then continue to a full recovery over the weekend.

The weird thing to me is that I feel like it just got tired, and more tired, and tight and eventually just led to a blow out. I'm not really sure if its the way I'm sleeping, or lounging on the couch, or sitting at the computer. Its not like I was squatting 300lbs and hurt it that way. My workout that day was dips, and curls. Not exactly taxing on the back.

Combined with the fact that I had been pretty sore from the leg work out earlier this week, I've just been in a world of hurt recently!

If you're the praying type, say a few words for my back please. I would appreciate all the support I can get.

-Travis

Happy New Years

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