New Years Resolutions/Goals & Birthday

Travis isn't a fan of New Years Resolutions and has helped me to see that my resolutions need to be more of a lifelong goal, not a short term habit or change. I have been thinking the past week or so about this and things that I would like to work on, change and improve in myself. I think I have come up with a good list.

1. Sometime in the last year I have become a gossip. I was never a gossiper in high school, I was too busy to be. LOL However at my current company the environment is so high school esque that I have found that I have become one that talks a lot, unconsciously about things I hear or see and lately I am not happy with that. I want to be someone that others can come to, can confide in, talk with, be silly or stupid and not worry about that getting out to others. So my goal is to talkative but to leave others out of my conversations unless it is pertinent and necessary.

2. Positive outlook. Another thing I have noticed with all that has happened in the last year is that I have a hard time seeing the positive and looking at how great things are versus what I wish and what has gone wrong. I have a wonderful life, a best friend/boyfriend who would do anything for me as I would do for him, a good job that pays well (though not my dream job), a good home, an amazing family that as I get older I find out is even better than I imagined, and am grateful for the friends I have and are still there for me. I find I get up in the fact that so many people I know are getting married or are married and I am not, compare my home to others, compare myself to others and my success to others success. It may be the competitor in me, but there are things in life that are not a competition and I need to always remember that.

3. Confidence. I know I come across as someone who is very confident in myself, at least I have been told I do at times, but I am very critical of myself. I need to work on being confident in who I am and what I stand for. I need to be confident in my intelligence, my morals, my values, my external appearance and internal value. We all have our days when we feel like we would rather stay in bed than get up and get dressed and that is ok. :) I just think that due to some factors which are in the process of changing, and that will be explained later, I have lost a bit of confidence in my intelligence and competence. I know I am smart, I know I have amazing potential and I am working on finding someone to push me instead of question and make me back down.

I think these are good starting points and will lead to many positive changes in my attitude and life. I also hope it inspires others to make positive changes in their lives and their decisions on how to view the world.

Oh and on another note, my birthday is in 17 days!!! I am so excited and I can not wait. I get to say good bye to my early 20's!!!! I was cleaning today and happened to look through some pictures, letters and my yearbooks from high school. It amazes me to think how much I have changed and grown into myself. I feel I am still me and the me I was at 15 but it is a more mature, relaxed, polished and oriented self. I wish I could write myself a letter, and maybe someday I will, to teach myself the things I have learned along the very very bumpy road. Ask my parents, I was definitely not an easy child to raise. I have never learned well without experiencing some hurt or negaqtive consequence from an action. So to be able to write myself a letter and tell my younger self to not sweat about things so much, to not care what people thought so much and to slow down and enjoy life, I am not too sure it would work. LOL

26 years old, I am excited. I am excited for what this next year will hold. I know my brother will be getting married soon to a wonderful woman who fits into our family so fantastically. I am hoping to own a house, to get a new car, well "we" will get a truck :), hopefully a pet or two, take my GMAT and to just continue to learn about this awesome place we live. What is really interesting to me as well as I go through each year is how my priorities change. Instead of spending every weekend going out and going to the new bars or clubs, I am ok with hanging out at home and watching a movie or with friends. I like having a picked up home, cooking dinner, and being settled. I do still have a drive to push myself in my career and skills, but to also know that I have a great person and place to come home to, all that together makes me smile.

Now after a long rambling post, I am going to go crawl into bed with a good book, listen to some music and get ready for a another week. :) Happy 2008 everyone!!