Good Reads

So I am finally back into my habit of inhaling books as my mom will vouch for me, I used to do when I was younger. It seems that ever since college it has taken me until now to really find the desire I used to have for reading. I am sure all of you college graduates can commiserate with me on this point, no matter what your major was. I know that the forced reading of books in weeks, sometimes days, will really kill a passion when it is turned into work. However on a good note, I have found my passion again, though I may fall asleep in the middle of it. :)

I have almost finished a book that I has turned on a light bulb for me, created that "ah ha moment". It is called Keys to the Kingdom. A friend of mine, Jim, recommended that I buy this book almost five years ago now, maybe even six years ago. He said it was life changing and from a guys perspective totally true. Well it has taken me these past 5-6 years to even open the book, and I can not believe I waited this long, it is amazing and really every woman should read it. I will try to explain the book and men you can totally pipe and explain yes or no, or say wow woman you should have known this!

The book is written in story form about this older woman, Claudia, who is essentially an anthropologist of men through trade and formal training, and her entire family was as well, and a younger woman, Karen. Karen and Claudia meet through a yoga class and when Karen chooses Claudia to spill her soul to about her frustration with her marriage, her lack of ability to communicate to her husband and feelings of inadequacy as a woman. The story helps in regards to explanation, readability and fluid description of the stages of a man and how to relate, communicate and respect them in each of these stages. The story follows Karen as she takes these lessons and guidelines and applies them and explains to her husband and the following reactions and changes their relationship goes through, only for the better.

The first stage, that I found really interesting and makes total sense, is a man is in what the woman calls Pages. Pages are from birth till just before Puberty. Pages are what the woman call wannabee knights. Their whole goal in life is adventure and fun and pretending to be like their older counterparts, Knights. These adventures and fun come in small stages, like burping and farting, climbing to the highest point on the monkey bars, running, being outside, pine cone fights, everything that drives mothers crazy. However, Claudia explains that because these little pages are trying to be little men, what they want is to be treated like men. So ask them for help, don't scold but say I know and respect what you are doing but please this is not the place, save it till we leave or till a later time. Respect them, listen to them, ask them for help and do not hold them back from discovering the little men they are trying to be.

Around Puberty men enter the next stage, Knights. Knights are what women consider to be full of themselves, irresponsible, and lack commitment. However as Claudia explains to Karen, Knights are full of themselves because they who they are and want to be as men. Their entire goal during this stage is having fun, living life, having adventure after adventure after adventure. During this time men will date but most are not looking for their life partner, however if they do find their partner who will share in their adventures, not hold them back, they are fulfilled.

Around the mid 20's, sometimes earlier, sometimes later, men develop into Princes, who have three phases. The first, an Early Prince, is trying to set up where he will build his kingdom and what it will consist of. Some Princes if they have found their partner will marry at this point and build their kingdom around and with this woman and some men want to build their kingdom prior to marriage so they are able to provide in the ability they deem as necessary in marriage. Once a Prince has decided his career and where he wants to build his kingdom. This is called the Middle Prince Phase. During this phase and all of the Prince phases, Princes have one single focus, build build build, which for women seems that all they want to do is work, think about work, how they can get farther and more successful in work. When they are free from thinking about these things, that is when women normally spend time criticizing them saying, they don't get enough attention and they have screwed up in these ways. Which Claudia says, women should be respecting them for their hard work and taking advantage of the time men are giving them and spend it being appreciative, happy to see them and communicating any needs they may have and what they may need help on, in a positive way so I a man can respond and help in the way he knows how, which is not wrong, it is the man's way. The very last Prince Phase, Claudia tells Karen is very quick, while the others take years, this is the stage where the man has reached his goals in his career, he has attained the level he has been striving for. All together the Prince Stage Lasts from approximately 10-15 years.

The last Stage Kings, is where I am at in the book. It is almost done and I am very excited. These explanations and almost real life examples gives me a great reference for how I can incorporate this in to how I understand Travis and other men in my life. It also makes me realize that many things I have previously thought and did, were quite wrong and that I need to work on some things, which I am OK with saying. :) As I finish the book tonight I will let everyone know how the last stage goes, which for most of us my age, this is where our father's are in their lives.

Oh and on a side note, at church yesterday we found out our pastor just had his first book published. Here is a picture of the cover and a link to find more about it. I am going to be purchasing it next weekend, as the line was quite long.

Happy Monday everyone!